Oh, Life.

GOD IS SO GOOD.
GOD IS SO GOOD.
GOD IS SO GOOD.

His loving kindness and overflowing mercy astound me.
He is so good!

I'm back at Lee for my second semester of freshman year. I feel so much older. More mature. Stronger. It's strange.

But I did go through that phase this past week of feeling "lost." I realized I hadn't picked up a brush in months, or read just for the fun of it, or baked, or gone out shooting for photography, or taken a walk, or anything like that. And I missed it.

But now, I'm in Franklin for the weekend. I've only been here a few hours, and I already feel filled. My Franklin tank was getting low. It's full now. I'm laying in my bed, listening to Andy McKee, eating Cheeto Puffs, and blogging.

My idea of a fantastic Friday night.

Something nags at my heart, however. Plays its strings, and calls out from a deep place. I'm in my literal home. My parents are down the hallway, and I'm laying in my bed in my room surrounded by memories of my life before college...but I know deep down inside, in my heart of hearts...

I'm not home.

Because home is a place on the other side of this planet. Home is a little mud hut, surrounded by other little mud huts, surrounded by the Father's love and the Father's presence. Home is a one-roomed church/school house filled with hundreds of little bodies singing praises to the King.

Home is where the heart is.
And my heart isn't here.
It's in Africa.

So now, I embark on this interesting journey. Well, more like continue on it. But with a different flavor. Because after I got back from Malawi in the summer of 2009, I knew that I wouldn't be going back.

Or so I thought.

But tonight, something drew me to those pictures. And something twisted my heart. And something called me home.

I fall on my knees. And pray. Hard. Because if the Lord IS calling me back, there have to be a lot of things that happen in a very short period of time. Money has to come in, schedules have to open up, and a spot on the team has to open up.

But if it's His will, He will make a way. Because HE WORKS EVERYTHING OUT FOR MY GOOD.

Lately, I've been praying for Dad's will to be done in different aspects of my life. With my new boyfriend, with my Sophomore year at Lee, with my summer...

But then, something dawned on me. I have given the Lord a coloring sheet and a crayon and kindly said, "Please color this section, this section, and this section in your will. But stay in those sections.

Now I am giving Him a canvas and a paintbrush and asking Him to paint the CANVAS OF MY LIFE in a beautiful rainbow of colors. Because I don't want to compartmentalize. I want Him to be moving, living, breathing, flowing into every nook and cranny of my crazy life. I want to overflow with His love...and give Him all the glory for everything He does.

I wait. I pray. I journal. I cry. I laugh. I dance. I sing. I hope. I love. And I dream.
I am clay in the Father's hands, destined for greatness.
Let His will be done.

an ode to the things i love.

So I haven't updated this doo-hickey in a very long while. But I've got lotsa thoughts bouncin' around in my head...so here goes. :]

(That was a very Southern Slang sentence.)

Disclaimer: There are many many many more things I love. But Grey's Anatomy comes on in an hour, and I cannot miss it.

1. Winter Retreat:

So we (my youth group) just got back from Winter Retreat. It was absolutely incredible. The Lord has brought us all back together in ways that we've been praying for for over a year. Man, what a great God!

Last night we had a Fusion (our Wednesday night youth service) and debriefed what Winter Retreat was for us. Needless to say, God moved again.

Winter Retreat WAS full of funny things, like skits, copious amounts of M&Ms, and LOTS of giggles. And scavenger hunts. Which the Group 2 owned FACE at.

2. The Senior Class of 2009:
I am 54ish school days away from being a graduate. This makes me excited beyond words. But that's not why I love the senior class. I love the senior class because we are FAMILY. Just like it says in Nehemiah, when one of us is missing from the group, there is a tangible hole. Each one of us brings something different to the table. (I'm sorta stealing this from Will...bare with me.)
We each have our own strengths and our own weaknesses. But we complete each other so perfectly, it can only happen through the Lord. In the class of 2009, or Kono, we have: leaders of all shapes and sizes, artists, lovers, dreamers, scholars, musicians, comedians, dancers, prayer warriors, risk takers, photographers, directors, actors, filmakers, teachers, missionaries, justice-seekers, optimists, and planners. We are by no stretch of the imagination perfect, but we love each other unconditionally nonetheless. We are clay in the Father's hands, going anyway He leads. How incredibly blessed I am to be in such a diverse and loving family.

3. Oil Paint:
Dear oil painting, how I love you. Actually, dear any type of painting, I love you. As soon as I have a brush in my hand, everything fades away (yes, I proudly stole this from The Notebook). But it really is true. I get in my own little world when I paint...just me and the canvas. Sometimes, I get stuck. I hit a "painter's block." But usually, with some thoughtful sketching and some great music, I can bust on through that dumb painter's block. I especially love the way oil paints smell. They just permeate my memory, and I know that whenever I smell that particular scent, it will bring me back to my adventure with my canvas. Some people say that they take their cars on adventures. Or their cameras. Or even their friends. But with a canvas, I can do anything.

4. Picnik:
Oh my lanta, I never knew photo editing could be so fun. Hello a new form of procrastination. But hey, it's creative!

5. Driving with my windows down:
Oh, the wind in my hair, the clouds in the sky... just kidding. But I really do like that. There's just such a feeling of freedom while driving with the windows down. Especially to good music.

6. Del Rio:
Not "of the river" in Spanish. Well, it is. But that's not what I mean. Del Rio is this really great narrow road that winds through the fields and "countryside" here in Franklin. I especially like it while driving with my windows down. There's not much traffic on it, so it's almost like the movie Elizabethtown, when Orlando Bloom is just crusin' along listening to some really great music. Yeah, I like it. :] Both Del Rio and the movie Elizabethtown.

7. Africa:
I'M GOING BACK THIS SUMMER! Praise the Almighty Father, I've been called to return back home. I've still got dirt from Malawi in my shoes, and not a day passes that I don't think about those precious children. Hopefully I can brush up on my soccer skills before I return...

A Random List of Things I Love, But I'm Not Going To Elaborate On Because I Want To Watch Grey's:
-throw pillows.
-travelling.
-acoustic guitar.
-love stories.
-Preds games. (Nashville's hockey team)
-football.
-sweet tea.
-the Art Girls. (I see them every morning. Without them, I wouldn't have anyone to share my embarassing stories with at 7:30 a.m.)
-my car.
-my car's sunroof.
-best friends.
-answered prayers.
-God moments.
-sisters from other misters. (Not literally. But I've got some great gals that surround me. And I'm pretty sure the Lord didn't put some of us in the same family because...well, I don't think there's a set of parents out there that could handle some of us in the same family. We're a bit goofy.)
-dance parties.
-senior boys that have Lumberjack day.